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radio roulette

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Several years ago when I was pinching every penny, I went online and purchased a refurbished radio/CD player. This was supposed to be a high quality brand that would last a long time, and end up being a better purchase than anything I could buy off the Walmart shelf.

Well, after a few moves and a misplaced remote, the CD player no longer worked and the radio decided to play whatever station it wanted. Radio roulette.

It should have been replaced a long time ago, but it hasn’t really been high on the list of priorities. And for the sake of this story, I’m so glad I held on to it.

Thankfully, when I first set it up in our living area after our last move, it landed on a Christian radio station and I left it alone. I liked hearing the worship songs playing in the background of everything I was doing, day or night. It was such a comfort in some of the darkest moments of uncertainty, which I’ve been battling the last couple of years.

But then one day, someone hit a button on it and all was lost. It would power up, but the radio refused to play. It acted like it was constantly searching for a station but could never find one. I pressed every button on the thing. I banged on it, shook it, turned it every angle. Nothing worked. After many many tries, I finally gave up on it and turned it off. And then I forgot about it.

Weeks later, on one extra dark and weary night, my husband was out of town for work. I had put our daughter to bed, but I was restless. I felt so alone and worried about so many things. I was pacing the living room filled with fear. I could physically feel the spiritual attack that was happening to me, and I needed help.

I walked over to the broken radio and turned it on. Just maybe it would work this time and go back to my Christian radio station I had enjoyed before. No luck. The power was on but the radio was still stuck in neverland, with no stations to be found.

So I turned it off again, and started to pray. I asked The Father for help. I asked Him to please send me some worship music to calm my spirit. (Sure, maybe I should have just grabbed my phone and found something on YouTube for the time being. But I wanted my radio back. I wanted to hear songs about Him playing in the background all day and night again.) I finished my prayer, took a deep breath, and turned on the radio again.

And there He was.

A soulful choir was singing the most beautiful worship song I had heard in a long time. And then when that song ended, another beautiful song began. It wasn’t the same Christian station that had played before. This was something completely different that I hadn’t even found in my car while driving in the area, and to this day, I still haven’t.

That night, my desperate prayer was answered. The instant I heard that worship music come on, I felt the fear begin to flee. Such relief filled my soul! I could no longer feel alone because The Lord had just pushed back the darkness right in front of me. He is SO worthy of our praise!

To some, it might seem like the smallest thing — a mere coincidence to be shrugged off. But to me, especially that night, it was nothing short of My Father showing up to say, “I’m here. I see you, and I love you.”

He is and always has been my greatest Friend and Protector.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13

I pray that this short story blesses you, and helps you to see the “small” things in your life that His loving hand has touched just for you.

Love,
Emily

True Love

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Today I’d like to share something that a fellow sister in Christ recently wrote about her mom. It’s a beautiful, sobering picture of what true love really looks like, and I think the world needs to hear it. ❤️

My greater lesson from my mom’s battle with her cancer, her death and the redefined meaning of LOVE…

I often hear the misused phrase “judge not” or “who are you to judge” hurled by the world (and sadly many in The Church) at any one who would point out that something is wrong with their behavior or understanding. I have found that this really is just a disguise by the human flesh to really mean… “Just keep your mouth shut and let me do what I want to do. I’m not really interested in hearing what is right or wrong.” (I guess satan’s first temptation and promise to Eve was really a lie.)

Now granted, scripture directs us on not judging those outside The Church, nor to involve ourselves in their affairs. (1 Cor 5:11-13 and 2 Tim 2:4-5) Why? Because they are already judged and condemned. Instead, scripture exhorts us to judge those inside The Church.

So what exactly does that look like and how does warning someone and protecting them from destruction not turn into “you’re judging me”? And more importantly, how are we really loving our neighbor?

The truth is, I loved my mom dearly. And as family, I not only loved her, but had a deep desire to see her happy. With that said, there came a day when I had to carry my mother into the doctor’s office for a surgery. During this time the doctor informed me that my mother had stage 2 breast cancer.

Now…..if you have ever had someone you love diagnosed with a terminal illness, you know it is not a very “positive” experience. BUT, here’s my question. What if the doctor and I had this information about something this horrific that was leading to her death and destruction… and what if I had then said to my mother’s doctor, “Please just keep quiet. This type of news or information will really hurt my mom. It’s not productive to keeping a positive, joyful outlook on life and really, who are you to judge how this will affect her or what her outcome will be……You’re not God!”

I wonder, would I be a “loving” daughter?

What if the doctor chooses to give her the information anyway and my mom accepts the reality of her condition… and then he tells her that there are some steps that can be taken to cure her, but it will require obedience to the instructions for treatment. She agrees and then leaves to pick up her prescription. What if it says to take take twice a day orally, but she decides it is now more comfortable to dissolve the pills in water once a day and soak her feet in them instead. It’s relaxing, doesn’t require as much effort or remembering, and certainly doesn’t cause her to feel uncomfortable.

Am I obligated to remind her or share with her what the doctor really said, or is it more loving to just let her do what she feels is best for her? Regardless of whether I tell her and she ignores me or I keep quiet, the outcome is still death. The question is, in which scenario am I genuinely loving my “neighbor” (my mother in this case), and in which one will I be held accountable to God…(herein lies the REAL meaning of being your brothers keeper)?

Ezekiel 3:16-21

Now it came to pass at the end of seven days that the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore hear a word from My mouth, and give them warning from Me:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.

20 “Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you did not give him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. 21 Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man that the righteous should not sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live because he took warning; also you will have delivered your soul.

~ Shared with permission, from Seeds Among the Soil.~

I hope this blesses you today.
Emily

fear not

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My dear friends,

In a world full of fear and fear-mongering, many believers are searching for answers, guidance, and comfort. The Lord has spoken to me and told me to address this issue on social media as well as in my blog. So here we go.

We are in the midst of great spiritual warfare; the times are very heavy and many believers are feeling alone and sometimes defeated in this battle. I struggled with these feelings myself, until the Lord spoke words of Life into me and reminded me who I am and WHOSE I am. So I am here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God has heard your prayers, and He is still fighting for us. He is tarrying before Returning to give US more time to be saved by His grace and our true repentance.

Church, there are two things we need to stop and do right now.

Step 1: Pray for God to tell us what He wants us to know.

“Father God, I pray that you would open the eyes and ears of all your true believers today, that we would understand Your Words, and receive them as You intended. Please strengthen us and give us wisdom by increasing the presence of the Holy Spirit in us today. Give us discernment and a thirst for Your Will to be done, in Jesus’ name. AMEN!”

Step 2: Choose to be His faithful servants by digging into the absolute Truth of His Word.

The Lord says: “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” -Jeremiah 33:3

JEREMIAH 33:3

If we earnestly seek His Truth, we will find Him. Every word of the Bible is God-breathed, and designed to help us understand how to live our lives in order to be pleasing to God, and to be blessed by Him. In my quiet time, I recently discovered the power of Psalm 91, and its perfect relevance to the tribulations we are facing today.

PSALM 91:1
Psalm 91 (NIV):

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

Friends, if this passage does not speak volumes to you in these trying times, then your ears have been shut by the enemy, and you are in danger of being held captive by the great delusion.

Did you know the “fear not” message is found in 365 verses of the Bible? Why would God put the same message in the Bible on so many different occasions unless He was absolutely serious about it? Living in a spirit of fear can affect our faith. Fear is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and therefore can only have one other origin. Do not be deceived!

95% of what the media is telling you is simply propaganda to spread fear. TURN IT OFF. Turn on the Word of God in your homes and in your heart! Let it be a Lamp to light your path. Carry it with you each day. Let it live on your lips and on the lips of your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, etc. until the Lord calls us all home at the end of time.

Absolutely nothing in this world nullifies the rich and living Word of God. Nothing can touch us without God’s permission. Not one single thing! In chapter 1 of the book of Job, we see that the enemy himself had to ask God’s permission to touch Job: 

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. 
The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” 
And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” 
Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? 
Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 
But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” 
And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

The enemy took Job’s family, his servants, his house, his livestock, his fields… and what did Job do? He WORSHIPPED and PRAISED God.

JOB 1:20-22
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. 
And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.

Job understood that everything he had been given belonged to God. He recognized that God had blessed him with many things, and that God could also take away those things because He IS GOD, and does not need to explain Himself to us. Job was indeed a faithful servant of God.

Brothers and sisters, each of us has a number of days set aside by God, and not one thing can take away a single second of that time. NOT.ONE.THING.

In Job 14:5, we read: “…his days are determined, and the number of his months is with you, and you have appointed his limits that he cannot pass…”

Knowing that God has numbered our days and that He is forever faithful to His Word, we can walk securely in the knowledge that He truly is our shield and refuge. Nothing can touch us without His permission. If He does allow something to cross our path, we must trust that He has a great purpose for it! He will either get us through it and use it to correct us or grow our faith and bring us closer to Him, or He will bring us home to glory because we have fulfilled our purpose and it is our time to rest. We can believe and trust in this good word from Him today!

No matter what you are facing today, PRAISE God. TRUST in Him. Walk by FAITH, and do not fear!

Be awakened to His Truth and stand firm in His Word! AMEN and AMEN!

Blessings,
Emily

suffering and trusting Him to make it right

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A recent devotion in my “Bible In One Year” plan (by the YouVersion Bible app) broached the very hard subject of “suffering”.. and our lack of understanding surrounding it.

When we are in the middle of suffering, it is often tremendously hard to trust God. We forget that He suffers alongside us. We forget that He uses trials and difficulties to test and strengthen our faith, and develop our character. We forget that He intends it ALL for good. For example, in Genesis, God used Joseph’s suffering to save an entire nation. And in the New Testament, God used Jesus’s suffering to save US ALL.

Yeshua (Jesus) told us Himself that the fruitful branches would be pruned in order to bear even more fruit. Our pruning is often painful but necessary in order for us to grow even stronger in Him.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” -John 15:1-2

This devotion about suffering made me think of my mother, and how she suffered so much for 3 years with her terrible cancer. I know she struggled at times to understand why God allowed her to suffer so much, and perhaps she even questioned what she had done to deserve such suffering. But God doesn’t allow us to suffer because He has a score to settle. In the book of Job, we see that Job is a righteous man who God allowed to suffer immense turmoil in many different forms, before making everything right for Job. In fact, God restored to him even more than he had before his suffering began! We can look at Job’s response to his suffering as a model for our own behaviors when we’re facing trials; Job never once lost his faith. Job never cursed God or turned his back on God. He remained faithful (albeit lamenting) even in his suffering, and God made everything right for him.

But what about those who suffer and don’t get restored in this life? What about my mother? After a miserable 3 years, my sister and I spent an agonizing final week with Mama in hospice, before she passed into eternity. The healing we had prayed for her never came–well, at least not in this life. I have often struggled with God’s decision to not heal her cancer, after the multitude of prayers that she and so many of her loved ones sent up in good faith for that outcome. For a year and a half, I have asked the question, “WHY?”

And then, a story in my daily devotional completely changed my perspective.

A one-year-old boy shattered his back falling down a flight of stairs. He spent his childhood and youth in and out of the hospital — 13 long years of surgeries and treatments. At age 17, he was interviewed by a bishop in his church, and the boy remarked, “God is fair.” The bishop asked him if he thought what had happened to him was fair, and the boy’s response was astounding: “God has got all of eternity to make it up to me.”

We live in a world of instant gratification that has almost entirely lost its eternal perspective. But this boy had amazing insight into eternity with his enlightened response. Even if we never see our prayers for healing or relief come to fruition in this life, God is not done. He is not limited to the boundaries of this earth or our temporary lives here. He has ALL of eternity to fulfill His promises to us, and answer our prayers.

There are some things that we will never understand this side of Heaven, but we can rest assured that God is GOOD. His goodness and mercy can be seen throughout the whole Bible! He uses everything for His good purposes. We are simply asked to have faith and trust in Him above all else.

I keep this verse in mind whenever I don’t understand the things that happen in this world, and somehow, it always provides comfort:

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. -Deuteronomy 29:29

I hope this message blesses you today, and that you might recall it when you’re in the midst of suffering.

Love in Christ,
Emily

the day Mama went Home.

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December 20, 2019.

~Reading scripture to Mama~

The hospice center was filled with the brightest sunlight we had seen in the last 5 days. A guitarist began to play beautiful acoustic music right across the hall from my mother’s room. My mama, who had always carried a deep love of music within her heart, was being serenaded and beckoned by the Almighty. It was so beautiful that I powered off the thermostat so she could hear it more clearly.

I spoke gently to Mama, reassuring her that I would take care of my sister and handle anything I thought she might be worried about. And for the first time in 5 days, I felt absolutely sure that I wanted to be there when her soul entered the Kingdom of Heaven. I told her so, and also made sure she knew that my sister would want to be there with her too. Just as I finished up the last of countless chats I’d had with Mama over the past week, my sister returned from the hospice kitchen and sat down on the other side of Mama’s bed.

It had been 5 days since Mama left ICU to be transferred to the hospice center; 5 miserable, long, tortured days of watching her “sleep” while telling her how much we loved her, how proud we were of her for fighting so hard for so long, how sorry we were that she had suffered so much, and how thankful we were for her and the gift of every moment we had shared together in our lifetimes.

It was incredibly hard not to hear her sweet voice responding or see her beautiful eyes gazing back at us as we spoke to her throughout that week, but we had been repeatedly assured by the medical staff that she could hear everything we said. So, we spent every day saying our “see you later’s” knowing that according to the doctor, she should not survive another hour, let alone another night. And then we’d wake up in awe each morning once we discovered she was still with us, still fighting.

But this morning was different. Her breathing was more labored than in the previous days, and I could sense a change happening. There seemed to be less of her there; less of her spirit was trapped inside the sick body that had held her captive with cancer for nearly 3 years. There was more of her elsewhere now, than in this hospice bed.

The guitarist played on, strumming the most beautiful selection of songs — hymns, Christmas songs, and old southern favorites that brought back wonderful memories. I heard several of Mama’s favorites, and I knew she was listening and smiling over us. As the music filled the air around us, I suddenly felt an urging to tell my sister that Mama’s time was near so she would be prepared. I knew in my heart that her transformation would soon be complete.

Then, just minutes after I had spoken those words, an old familiar guitar tune fell on our ears. The song immediately grabbed my sister’s attention, because it’s about dancing — something Mama had longed to be able to do again. My sister began humming the tune, and filled in the words once it reached the chorus:

“Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he...”

My sister looked down at our mother, touched her hand, and said, “Now you can dance again, Mama.” And at that moment, Mama took her last breath and saw the face of God.

In that instant, I saw Mama’s spirit leave her broken body; I knew right away that she was finally free. And thru my tears of both sadness and joy, I thanked Mama for fighting so hard and for waiting for us to be okay before leaving. I also thanked God for the gift He gave of allowing us to witness that moment and feel Heaven in that hospice room.

It was the most beautiful, unimagined ending to Mama’s long and faithful fight. What an incredible blessing it was to experience such a heavenly event. We had been given the gift of closure, knowing that Mama was alive and well in Heaven — perfect and whole in every way.

“Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he...”

Blessings,
Emily

because He lives.

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Life has been anything but easy over the last month or so.

I have thought many times about what my next blog post should be, what I should share, what I should leave out… I have started to write so many times, and just didn’t have the energy, or the focus, or the time to do it justice.

Tonight is much the same, but I heard an old familiar song start to play in my mind earlier, and it brought me comfort. I wanted to share this song with y’all, in case someone else needs to hear it too. I pray that it gives you the peace you need to face any trial in your path.

When I am able, I’ll write more. Until then… 

Because He Lives:

 God sent His Son, they called him Jesus,
 He came to love, heal and forgive;
 He lived and died, to buy my pardon,
 An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

 Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
 Because He lives, all fear is gone;
 Because I know He holds the future,
 And life is worth the living just because He lives.

 How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
 And feel the pride, and joy he gives;
 But greater still the calm assurance,
 This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

 Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
 Because He lives, all fear is gone;
 Because I know He holds the future,
 And life is worth the living just because He lives.

 And then one day I'll cross the river,
 I'll fight life's final war with pain;
 And then as death gives way to victory,
 I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

 Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
 Because He lives, all fear is gone;
 Because I know He holds the future,
 And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Blessings,
Emily