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True Love

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Today I’d like to share something that a fellow sister in Christ recently wrote about her mom. It’s a beautiful, sobering picture of what true love really looks like, and I think the world needs to hear it. ❤️

My greater lesson from my mom’s battle with her cancer, her death and the redefined meaning of LOVE…

I often hear the misused phrase “judge not” or “who are you to judge” hurled by the world (and sadly many in The Church) at any one who would point out that something is wrong with their behavior or understanding. I have found that this really is just a disguise by the human flesh to really mean… “Just keep your mouth shut and let me do what I want to do. I’m not really interested in hearing what is right or wrong.” (I guess satan’s first temptation and promise to Eve was really a lie.)

Now granted, scripture directs us on not judging those outside The Church, nor to involve ourselves in their affairs. (1 Cor 5:11-13 and 2 Tim 2:4-5) Why? Because they are already judged and condemned. Instead, scripture exhorts us to judge those inside The Church.

So what exactly does that look like and how does warning someone and protecting them from destruction not turn into “you’re judging me”? And more importantly, how are we really loving our neighbor?

The truth is, I loved my mom dearly. And as family, I not only loved her, but had a deep desire to see her happy. With that said, there came a day when I had to carry my mother into the doctor’s office for a surgery. During this time the doctor informed me that my mother had stage 2 breast cancer.

Now…..if you have ever had someone you love diagnosed with a terminal illness, you know it is not a very “positive” experience. BUT, here’s my question. What if the doctor and I had this information about something this horrific that was leading to her death and destruction… and what if I had then said to my mother’s doctor, “Please just keep quiet. This type of news or information will really hurt my mom. It’s not productive to keeping a positive, joyful outlook on life and really, who are you to judge how this will affect her or what her outcome will be……You’re not God!”

I wonder, would I be a “loving” daughter?

What if the doctor chooses to give her the information anyway and my mom accepts the reality of her condition… and then he tells her that there are some steps that can be taken to cure her, but it will require obedience to the instructions for treatment. She agrees and then leaves to pick up her prescription. What if it says to take take twice a day orally, but she decides it is now more comfortable to dissolve the pills in water once a day and soak her feet in them instead. It’s relaxing, doesn’t require as much effort or remembering, and certainly doesn’t cause her to feel uncomfortable.

Am I obligated to remind her or share with her what the doctor really said, or is it more loving to just let her do what she feels is best for her? Regardless of whether I tell her and she ignores me or I keep quiet, the outcome is still death. The question is, in which scenario am I genuinely loving my “neighbor” (my mother in this case), and in which one will I be held accountable to God…(herein lies the REAL meaning of being your brothers keeper)?

Ezekiel 3:16-21

Now it came to pass at the end of seven days that the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 17 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore hear a word from My mouth, and give them warning from Me:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.

20 “Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you did not give him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. 21 Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man that the righteous should not sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live because he took warning; also you will have delivered your soul.

~ Shared with permission, from Seeds Among the Soil.~

I hope this blesses you today.
Emily

the day Mama went Home.

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December 20, 2019.

~Reading scripture to Mama~

The hospice center was filled with the brightest sunlight we had seen in the last 5 days. A guitarist began to play beautiful acoustic music right across the hall from my mother’s room. My mama, who had always carried a deep love of music within her heart, was being serenaded and beckoned by the Almighty. It was so beautiful that I powered off the thermostat so she could hear it more clearly.

I spoke gently to Mama, reassuring her that I would take care of my sister and handle anything I thought she might be worried about. And for the first time in 5 days, I felt absolutely sure that I wanted to be there when her soul entered the Kingdom of Heaven. I told her so, and also made sure she knew that my sister would want to be there with her too. Just as I finished up the last of countless chats I’d had with Mama over the past week, my sister returned from the hospice kitchen and sat down on the other side of Mama’s bed.

It had been 5 days since Mama left ICU to be transferred to the hospice center; 5 miserable, long, tortured days of watching her “sleep” while telling her how much we loved her, how proud we were of her for fighting so hard for so long, how sorry we were that she had suffered so much, and how thankful we were for her and the gift of every moment we had shared together in our lifetimes.

It was incredibly hard not to hear her sweet voice responding or see her beautiful eyes gazing back at us as we spoke to her throughout that week, but we had been repeatedly assured by the medical staff that she could hear everything we said. So, we spent every day saying our “see you later’s” knowing that according to the doctor, she should not survive another hour, let alone another night. And then we’d wake up in awe each morning once we discovered she was still with us, still fighting.

But this morning was different. Her breathing was more labored than in the previous days, and I could sense a change happening. There seemed to be less of her there; less of her spirit was trapped inside the sick body that had held her captive with cancer for nearly 3 years. There was more of her elsewhere now, than in this hospice bed.

The guitarist played on, strumming the most beautiful selection of songs — hymns, Christmas songs, and old southern favorites that brought back wonderful memories. I heard several of Mama’s favorites, and I knew she was listening and smiling over us. As the music filled the air around us, I suddenly felt an urging to tell my sister that Mama’s time was near so she would be prepared. I knew in my heart that her transformation would soon be complete.

Then, just minutes after I had spoken those words, an old familiar guitar tune fell on our ears. The song immediately grabbed my sister’s attention, because it’s about dancing — something Mama had longed to be able to do again. My sister began humming the tune, and filled in the words once it reached the chorus:

“Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he...”

My sister looked down at our mother, touched her hand, and said, “Now you can dance again, Mama.” And at that moment, Mama took her last breath and saw the face of God.

In that instant, I saw Mama’s spirit leave her broken body; I knew right away that she was finally free. And thru my tears of both sadness and joy, I thanked Mama for fighting so hard and for waiting for us to be okay before leaving. I also thanked God for the gift He gave of allowing us to witness that moment and feel Heaven in that hospice room.

It was the most beautiful, unimagined ending to Mama’s long and faithful fight. What an incredible blessing it was to experience such a heavenly event. We had been given the gift of closure, knowing that Mama was alive and well in Heaven — perfect and whole in every way.

“Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he...”

Blessings,
Emily

weeds

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They get into every yard, invading a perfectly beautiful lawn atwill. They’re resilient, appearing to survive droughts much better than most grass. You can spend hours upon hours trying to get rid of them; it’s nearly a fulltime job. And HOAs don’t like them.

I know this because we’ve received letters (yes, plural) telling us that we’re in violation of an “article” within the bylaws, because of weeds in our yard. The last letter I opened from the HOA threatened us with a “board hearing and fines”. I remember it very well because we received it just after returning home from visiting my mother, who has been battling cancer for 2 years now and the cancer is still just as arrogant and unrelenting as ever – much like the weeds in my yard.

After temporarily losing my put-togetherness over a letter addressing the most trivial mess I’ve ever read (especially while still reeling over the sight of my frail mother), I consulted a few of my level-headed friends to get some unbiased perspective. They all said the same thing: “You have more important things to worry about than a few weeds, or letters about weeds.” After seeing the letter, one friend in particular asked me if my weeds were 3-feet tall — HAHA! I assured her that they aren’t, and they never have been. To which she replied, “Then that letter is CRAZY.”

And I agree.

The “weeds” in my life are much bigger and scarier than the weeds in my lawn, or any threats an HOA could throw at me.

But when did the world become so incredibly petty? When did our biggest concern (and point of harassment) become weeds in our lawns?

I once heard a pastor say that our souls expand and shrink to size of our concerns.

Read that again, and let it simmer for a minute.

If we are constantly fixated on “small” things, our souls shrink and become small. If our souls’ burdens are big, they expand to the size of those concerns – we grow. So if we are more concerned with things that affect more than just ourselves and our own lives, our souls have grown. (Keeping in mind that our souls can grow and yet shrink again, if we get all wrapped up in ourselves and don’t have any regard for others or things that are happening outside of our circles.)

My mama is hurting, so I am hurting. It’s hard for me to see past what she is going through, long enough to focus on anything smaller than cancer. I wish and pray for many things, but mostly for her healing. She has so much life left to live, and I will do everything I can to help her live it. That’s about as much as my soul can carry right now.

What I won’t do, is worry about some dang weeds.

If any of you are looking for a place to expand your soul and give, consider St. Jude. They are my absolute favorite charity. Did you know that families who receive care from St. Jude don’t pay for a single thing while they are there?

I have my Amazon account set up to give a small portion of each purchase to St. Jude’s, via https://smile.amazon.com. It’s free and easy to do. If you haven’t already, give it a try! 😊

You can also donate to the #ChipInChallenge for St Jude, which is currently taking place via https://magnolia.com/chipinchallenge.

Of course, soul-stretching isn’t just about giving from your wallet. You can also give of your time, your skills, your blood, your sweat, etc., to help others in any way that you are able.

For goodness’ sake, whatever you do – stay out of the weeds. 😉

Blessings,
Emily

Image by Bruno /Germany

tea to the fasting rescue!

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If you’re thinking of going on this intermittent fasting (IF) journey with me, every now and then you’re going to feel a twinge of hunger. Our minds and bodies are resistant to change, even when the change is good. So you’ll need some tools in your arsenal to combat the saboteurs, and this is where tea is everything.

During your fasting window, you have to stay away from anything that drives an insulin response, but that doesn’t knock absolutely everything. Unsweetened and unflavored teas, black coffee, and of course water are all allowed! But absolutely NO additives like milk, cream, or any sweeteners at all – whether natural or not. Which is exactly why I save my coffee until my eating window opens; hello, you gorgeous cream and sugar; come to mama! 😍

So if I feel a hunger twinge during the morning hours of my fasting window, I answer it with a cup of ginger or green tea (caffeinated), which is great because it also helps me to get my brain going in the morning. Almost immediately after I start drinking my tea, my urge to eat is gone! For nighttime hunger or cravings, I usually go for Oolong tea, which is naturally caffeine-free, and also works wonders for subduing your appetite.

I never ever thought hot tea would work as a natural appetite suppressant. Discovering this little trick has been a game-changer for my journey with IF. I hope it helps you as well!

Cheers to better health! 🙂

Blessings,

Emily

intermittent fasting (IF)

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Along this path towards overall health, I’ve recently discovered another gem used to increase health and longevity: intermittent fasting (IF).

I’m sure most of us have all encountered the idea of fasting at some point, whether for religious purposes or for medical necessity. And never has it ever been fun. So when one of my friends first mentioned to me that she was doing IF, I nodded and smiled and asked a few questions, all the while knowing I had ZERO desire to take part in it myself. Boy was I ignorant.

Fast forward a few months after that conversation, as the crappiness of being unhealthy started taking a bigger toll on how I felt, I shared my struggles with this friend, and once again she brought up IF. This time, I felt bad enough to start researching. And everywhere I looked, people were raving about the benefits of IF. Then I randomly saw an article about it posted on a health site that I regularly follow. It appeared that all signs were pointing to IF, and how it might be exactly what I should be doing.

Well amigos, here I sit. I’m doing this IF thing, and dern if I don’t feel better after just a few days of it.

It’s not hard at all. I have no idea why I was so obstinate for so long. Oh wait, yes I do. That’s kinda my thing. Sigh.

Anywho, the idea is that you eat within a specified timeframe every day, and then you have a fasting timeframe. There’s no counting things, or not eating certain things, or only eating certain things. The goal of IF is to simply allow your body to fast long enough that it begins to utilize the sugar stored up in your fat cells as energy, before you eat again.

But this one small goal of IF leads to SO many bigger-picture health advantages. Because you can only eat during a certain window of the day (which you determine), you also naturally end up consuming less calories each day (barring you don’t go berserk during your eating window). Other amazing things start happening inside your body as well, as it is allowed to basically “reset” during the fasting window.

From everything I have been reading, it appears that consistent IF actually increases longevity, insulin sensitivity, AND decreases the risk for type II diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer. I’m sure there are many other health benefits that I have yet to discover, but I’ll keep researching and sharing! 🙂

First, you have to get over the word “fasting”, which makes you envision yourself starving in the desert for days without food. Possibly considering that buzzard for dinner. But this is simply not reality.

For example, right now, I’ve decided that my fasting timeframe is from 6pm to 9am. I don’t eat anything after 6pm each night, until 9am the next day. This equates to 15 hours of fasting, most of which I am sleeping away. Eventually, I may increase the fasting window to 16 hours, depending on how everything goes with the 15-hour fast.

I’ve read quite a bit about IF in the last few weeks, and the general consensus is to start slow and work up to your desired fasting-window goal. Start with fasting for 12 hours, and then slowly increase as you have success. So far, I have nothing but good news to report. My energy has increased, my appetite has decreased, and I just FEEL better.

I’ll post a link below for a quick intro to IF. If you’re interested and open-minded, give it a read, do a little googling of your own, and let me know what you think about IF. And please – if you have ANY health conditions, be sure to discuss this with your doctor or medical professional before you start any new eating or fasting plan.

How Intermittent Fasting Can Help You Lose Weight

I’ll be posting more about IF as I gain more knowledge and experience with it. Here’s to better health! 🙂

Blessings,
Emily

CBD oil, not snake oil.

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My husband is a huge advocate for cannabis (CBD) oil. He knows a great deal more about it than I do. He could tell you about the importance of purity (third party) testing, the different concentrations, all the many ailments it can be used to treat, etc. I know very little about it, but I do know that cannabis has been shown to kill cancer cells.

After Mama was diagnosed with cancer, all I could think about was the type of treatments insurance would cover. How the insurance company would essentially give the doctors their blessing to pump poison into her body to (hopefully) kill the cancer cells. But the problem with chemotherapy is that it’s not selective to only killing the bad cells; it kills the good cells too. And don’t get me started on radiation.

Do y’all know that chemotherapy was derived from mustard gas? Yes, the same kind that’s used in war to kill an enemy.

When will this antiquated cancer treatment be updated? When will scientists be able to harness the power of the amazing human immune system to kill cancer, rather than disabling the body’s natural defenses? And when will the insurance companies cover other types of treatments that have been shown to cure cancer, without completely wrecking us?

For now it seems the best answer is to help yourself, using your own good sense and finances to try to avoid cancer altogether. A lot of that involves eating well and exercising. But if you’re like me, and you’re at a greater risk because cancer runs in your family, you may want to go a step further.

This past weekend, my husband and I made at stop at our local health store before heading to see Mama again. I bought some CBD gummies for her, and a dropper bottle of CBD oil tincture for myself. My Mama is old-school and I knew introducing something like this outside of her doctor’s orders was going to be a challenge. So I was thinking the gummies might be the smallest bear to fight. Thankfully, she accepted the gift and started taking them right away. I asked her to take a leap of faith with me, and she did.

So in turn, I started using this Plus+ CBD Oil to help me with being able to relax and sleep better at night. It has amazing reviews, and was one of the first CBD companies to be certified by US Hemp Roundtable – meaning their products can be tracked “from seed to shelf”… Which as my husband pointed out, is extremely important to make sure you’re not buying “snake oil”.

I’ve been using it now for a few days, and so far I have definitely noticed a difference. It has a very light and pleasant taste, thanks to the mint and monk fruit they added to it. (I’ve tried other brands, and some of them are truly gag-worthy.) So this new addition to my nightly routine is a breeze and a blessing!

If you haven’t looked into all the healing properties of CBD oil, please do. Chances are, you or someone you know could benefit from it. I’m not saying it’s the answer to everything from cancer to the zombie apocalypse, but I’m certainly not saying it isn’t. And I’m open to absolutely anything that will help my Mama.

We’re still praying for complete healing, in His name. Please pray with us.

Blessings,
Emily