Time. It’s the one thing that once spent, can never be retrieved, replaced, or refunded. It’s the one thing I’m not willing to compromise on when it comes to my little one. Yes, I’ve heard all the things about it… I know it’s important for me to take time for myself, to be renewed, to be a wife to my husband, to be a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. And I completely agree with that notion.
But “mom guilt” is a real thing.
As I sat there alone at my office desk, away from Grace, contemplating when I might have the time to get a workout in my day so I could start down the long road back to my healthy self… the one thing I could not fathom was taking more time away from my daughter than what we already lose while I’m at work.
Don’t get me wrong; working full-time has its benefits. I mean, I get to go to the bathroom pretty much whenever I want, and not have a 2.75 ft tall spectator, who has to see everything I do. It’s also pretty nice to enjoy regular adult conversation – something that doesn’t involve the phrase “Fancy Nancy” or “Baby Shark”. (And all the Mamas said Amen!)
But by the end of every day, I am desperately craving my baby’s snuggles and cannot imagine going to the gym or doing anything other than making a beeline home to my favorite girl. Even when I do go straight home from work, I only get about two hours of quality time with Grace before her bedtime. Just TWO hours a day, to try to soak up all of the things I missed all day long – it is not nearly enough. Not by a long shot. And in all honesty, by the end of my work day, I have zero energy and tolerance for a sweat session. So that means there will be no workouts after work.
Some bright-eyed and bushy-tailed folks might say, “What about first thing in the morning? You could get up early and get a workout in while getting some Mama-alone time too!” These people have clearly never met me. First of all, I have never in my life been a morning person. (I firmly believe this to be a genetic thing, because my daddy and his mama were exactly the same way.) So the odds of me magically becoming a Richard Simmons in my 30s is what I like to call “slim-to-none”. Secondly, I have a lazy (hypo) thyroid. (This is not some lame excuse; it has been diagnosed.) I’ve had this struggle for about 10 years now. It takes me a full hour to become lucid in the morning, and that’s after popping a thyroid pill, waiting 30 minutes, and then chugging a cup of high octane coffee. Lastly, I have an 18-month old. Not every night is a sleep-fest. Some nights are a “I’m-going-to-die-before-I-get-to-sleep-fest.” Is it always Grace’s fault? Heck no! In fact, most of the time it is actually the inability to shut my brain off, tell the stress to take a hike, and ignore all of the mom-guilt and anxiety that kicks in right at bedtime, just like clockwork. Sigh. So no, Becky, I will not be getting up at 5am to start my day with Sweatin’ to the Oldies. In the perfect words of Michelle Tanner, “How rude!”
So at this point I’m still sitting in my office, wondering what in tarnation I’m going to do. And then it hit me, like a bear growl right in my stomach – I have a lunch hour! I get one glorious lunch hour, 5 days a week, in which I can do whatever floats my boat. BINGO!
I started thinking about what I could (and would) feasibly do during my lunch hour to get some real exercise in my day. Walking is super easy, and a definite given. But that’s something I can (and usually) do throughout the day anyway, in small intervals. I still wanted to find something deliberate and focused that I could do for the majority of my lunch hour.
After a lot of hemming and hawing, I decided to try a local pilates class. With my history of back issues, and being completely out of shape from having a baby, I thought it would be a good idea to start (gently) rebuilding my core and back strength. I am happy to report that so far, I’m really enjoying it. I am sore, but in a good way; I am still able to walk! 🙂
Once this weather is consistently warmer, and the days are longer, Grace and I will definitely be adding in some stroller walks before dark as well! My girl loves it. And I sure do love her.
Mama friends, what are some things you like to do for exercise? I’m open to suggestions!
Blessings,
Emily