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CBD oil, not snake oil.

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My husband is a huge advocate for cannabis (CBD) oil. He knows a great deal more about it than I do. He could tell you about the importance of purity (third party) testing, the different concentrations, all the many ailments it can be used to treat, etc. I know very little about it, but I do know that cannabis has been shown to kill cancer cells.

After Mama was diagnosed with cancer, all I could think about was the type of treatments insurance would cover. How the insurance company would essentially give the doctors their blessing to pump poison into her body to (hopefully) kill the cancer cells. But the problem with chemotherapy is that it’s not selective to only killing the bad cells; it kills the good cells too. And don’t get me started on radiation.

Do y’all know that chemotherapy was derived from mustard gas? Yes, the same kind that’s used in war to kill an enemy.

When will this antiquated cancer treatment be updated? When will scientists be able to harness the power of the amazing human immune system to kill cancer, rather than disabling the body’s natural defenses? And when will the insurance companies cover other types of treatments that have been shown to cure cancer, without completely wrecking us?

For now it seems the best answer is to help yourself, using your own good sense and finances to try to avoid cancer altogether. A lot of that involves eating well and exercising. But if you’re like me, and you’re at a greater risk because cancer runs in your family, you may want to go a step further.

This past weekend, my husband and I made at stop at our local health store before heading to see Mama again. I bought some CBD gummies for her, and a dropper bottle of CBD oil tincture for myself. My Mama is old-school and I knew introducing something like this outside of her doctor’s orders was going to be a challenge. So I was thinking the gummies might be the smallest bear to fight. Thankfully, she accepted the gift and started taking them right away. I asked her to take a leap of faith with me, and she did.

So in turn, I started using this Plus+ CBD Oil to help me with being able to relax and sleep better at night. It has amazing reviews, and was one of the first CBD companies to be certified by US Hemp Roundtable – meaning their products can be tracked “from seed to shelf”… Which as my husband pointed out, is extremely important to make sure you’re not buying “snake oil”.

I’ve been using it now for a few days, and so far I have definitely noticed a difference. It has a very light and pleasant taste, thanks to the mint and monk fruit they added to it. (I’ve tried other brands, and some of them are truly gag-worthy.) So this new addition to my nightly routine is a breeze and a blessing!

If you haven’t looked into all the healing properties of CBD oil, please do. Chances are, you or someone you know could benefit from it. I’m not saying it’s the answer to everything from cancer to the zombie apocalypse, but I’m certainly not saying it isn’t. And I’m open to absolutely anything that will help my Mama.

We’re still praying for complete healing, in His name. Please pray with us.

Blessings,
Emily

roses are red, and so is wine.

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wine-glass

A few months after Grace was born, David and I went out to enjoy our first date night sans bébé. I was so excited to FINALLY get to enjoy my favorite adult beverage with dinner that I could hardly sit still. “Red wine, please!”

A small carafe later (about 2 glasses), David was driving us back home, and I started to feel funny – a little achy, a little cold, and definitely not myself. By the time we got home, our date night had come crashing down. I was convinced I had contracted the flu. I was hurting everywhere, and I was so cold that my teeth were chattering. I immediately hopped into a HOT shower, desperate to get warm somehow.

[I had experienced this type of thing before, but never knew exactly what it was; I always assumed my body was fighting off a bug, because by the next day I was usually right as rain.]

My Corpsman hubby had the good sense to give me Benedryl, just in case I was having an allergic reaction to something we had eaten. And within an hour or so, I was feeling much better.

Since all ended well, we never really thought much more about that night, until it happened again on our next date night. Same symptoms, same solution. The next day we talked about everything, and the writing was on the wall; the only thing I had consumed on both nights was red wine.

I started Googling and quickly discovered other stories where new moms had developed new allergies after giving birth. Some could no longer wear certain fabrics, some couldn’t enjoy the same foods as before baby, and some were just like me. My new crux just happened to be one of my favorite things on Earth – RED WINE.

I wanted to cry. After over a year of refraining from all alcohol, the only thing I had missed was red wine. The only thing I wanted was red wine. And now I couldn’t have it.

I did so much research on the subject that I could probably write a thesis on it. But what it boils down to is sulfites. Everything I’d ever had this type of reaction to was chock-full of sulfites. And these little suckers just happen to be a natural byproduct of the wine-making process, with red wine containing an especially high quantity of them.

As a new mom, my body was no longer tolerant of sulfites – even in small quantities. So in spite of all the wonderful health benefits of red wine, it could no longer be a part of my life.

For 2+ years now, I’ve been avoiding wine. I’ve turned down many glasses, and explained to countless people why I can’t have it. I’ve tried to find a new boo, but nothing else is as easy to pour, order, or love. (Skinny vodka drinks come in as a close second, but that’s for another blog.)

This past weekend, EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I decided to get brave and try something I had read about online, and IT WORKED! Not only did it prevent any type of negative reaction, but it also made the wine taste AMAZINGLY pure, without any of the bitter aftertaste. Introducing my new boo-thang, available on Amazon:

I wasn’t sure if the Ullo Wine Purifier was going to work to actually remove the sulfites, which is why I waited until the weekend to try it (even though it arrived in a very timely manner – on Valentine’s Day). When I woke up on Saturday (and Sunday) morning without so much as a headache, I was doing my happy dance!

Now I know this might seem like a silly thing to be excited about (especially if wine isn’t your thing). But to me, this is a huge deal. Especially now that I’m trying to be purposeful about the things I consume. Sure, there are plenty of “skinny drink” recipes out there for cutting calories, but they don’t carry the same health benefits as wine. So for me, now that I am able to drink it again, I am ECSTATIC.

For those of you who are curious about wine’s health benefits, I did some searching online and I’ve cataloged a list below. If you’re unsure about any of these, please feel free to do your own research and let me know what you find! I’ll site sources throughout, but beware the annoying and sometimes browser-crashing ads that can appear on some of these sites.

Before I get started, it is certainly worth mentioning that these benefits apply to a single serving of wine, which is only 5 ounces. So be careful, and don’t overdo it. Otherwise, you can cause more harm than good. And remember, while the American Heart Association does not support drinking for non-drinkers or those at risk of alcoholism, those who already imbibe may continue light drinking for positive heart health.

WINE BENEFITS:

1. CONTAINS ANTIOXIDANTS

Wine is full of antioxidants, which attack those pesky, cancer-causing free radicals. In a study done by the University of Barcelona, scientists found that the phenols in white wine had equal, if not higher antioxidants, than those in red wine. (So in this instance, white wine may actual be better than red.)

2. BOOSTS THE IMMUNE SYSTEM

While you shouldn’t stop taking your daily vitamins, drinking a glass of wine a day can give your immune system a boost. Moderate alcohol consumption can actually help to ward off infections and keep your immune system in check.

3. INCREASES BONE DENSITY

As we get older, our bones naturally become more brittle. Red wine actually increases bone density and reduces the chance of osteoporosis; it has high levels of silicon, which is great for bone mineral density.

4. REDUCES THE RISK OF STROKE

Moderate consumption of wine (and alcohol in general), can prevent blood clotting. Wine acts as a natural blood thinner, breaking up any blood clots that could lead to a stroke. This lower risk of blood clotting is more beneficial to females than males.

Red wine, in particular, contains phenols that act as a blood thinner in a similar regard to aspirin – and resveratrol is mostly to thank. This article by the National Stroke Association states that the resveratrol found in red grape skins can protect against stroke when the grapes were turned into wine.

[If you’re looking for a red wine high in resveratrol, opt for a nice glass of cabernet sauvignon.]

Consumer beware: while light to moderate consumption may be good in preventing a stroke, heavy drinkers are more likely to have the opposite effect, resulting in a higher risk of heart attacks, not a lower risk. So like all things in life, moderation is key.

5. LOWERS THE RISK OF HEART DISEASE

The tannins found in red wine contain procyanidins (phenols which neutralize free radicals), which have proven to be effective in preventing cardiovascular disease.

According to WebMD in a study by researchers at the Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa tested the effects of red wine on the health of blood vessels. After 21 consecutive days of consumption, they found that blood vessel cell health was enhanced, improving the overall flow of blood. This increases the health of the heart, lowering the risk of cardiovascular disease.

6. DECREASES BAD CHOLESTEROL

Those procyanidins in red wine that promote a healthy heart also promote lower cholesterol. Reservatrol also decreases LDL (bad cholesterol), while increasing the HDL (good cholesterol). This also means that red wine benefits blood pressure, so if you’re suffering from high blood pressure or having trouble keeping your cholesterol levels on the good side, sip on a daily glass of medicinal red wine.

7. REDUCES THE RISK OF TYPE 2 DIABETES

If you are at risk for type 2 diabetes, wine may help. Resveratrol has been proven to improve sensibility to insulin. With insulin resistance contributing to type 2 diabetes risk, a nice glass of wine makes the list of things you can enjoy.

8. REDUCES THE RISK OF CANCER

In the battle against cancer, wine is on your side. The risk of colon cancer, prostate cancer, and breast cancer can be reduced by drinking a glass of wine. The antioxidants combat nasty free radicals that allow cancer to thrive. Red wine is especially beneficial, because the resveratrol that fights against heart disease also fights against cancerous cells.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School found that:

“Men who drink an average of four to seven glasses of red wine per week are only 52 percent as likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer as those who do not drink red wine. In addition, red wine appears particularly protective against advanced or aggressive cancers.”

9. IMPROVES COGNITIVE FUNCTION

It may sound crazy, but drinking a single glass has shown to improve brain function. The chemicals in red wine prevent the brain’s neurons from dying off. As a result, it protects the brain from dementia while slowing the onset of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

10. PROMOTES LONGEVITY

When you hear about healthy living and longevity, the Mediterranean diet comes up quite often. At the core of that diet, beyond olive oil and vegetables, is red wine. Once again, it’s resveratrol for the win.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School found that resveratrol activates a protein that acts as an anti-aging agent. The interaction increases overall health, thus promoting longevity.

And that’s it!

Hopefully this list (and my crazy sulfite story) is helpful. If you are a non-drinker, please do not start now, based on this blog! But if you enjoy an adult bevvy from time to time, consider giving red wine a try. And remember, moderation is key. A single serving of wine is 5 oz.

Cheers! 🙂

Blessings,
Emily

a Valentine’s Day victory

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I still think this retail holiday is a flower shop’s dream come true, but today I have a lot to celebrate. I have a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, and my hard work on this journey is paying off!

In the last week, I’ve dropped nearly 4 lbs! YASSSSSSSS!!!

Did you know that in order to lose a SINGLE pound, it requires a deficit of 3,500 calories? Yes, you read that right – THREE THOUSAND and FIVE HUNDY CALORIES for ONE STINKING POUND. You have to either sweat those calories off or consume 3,500 less calories than what your body needs for its usual functions (over a period of time – don’t try to die), in order to lose one pound. In a well-rounded attempt to shed pounds, you’ll want to tackle it from both ends – eating less and moving more. And that’s what I’m doing.

I’m still going to my pilates class 2-3 times a week (nothing crazy), and I am also using MyFitnessPal to make sure I’m staying within a calorie range that is weightloss-friendly. I can’t tell you how important it has been for me to track what I am putting in my mouth every day. I wasn’t doing super bad before, but when you track that mess after each meal, you can quickly see where you fell off the wagon, and probably need to stick with celery and crickets for your next meal. Yum!…

I also bought two 32oz Nalgene water bottles that I carry with me to work every single day, with the goal of finishing them by the end of the work day. (A coworker introduced me to these, which are made in the USA, and have a lifetime warranty.) I’ve read a lot over the years about water consumption, and how important it is when you’re trying to lose weight. Not to mention, staying hydrated is great for your complexion and SO many other things!

But I digress.

Y’all, I’m far from where I want to be, but I am SO proud of myself for taking this leap of faith and sticking with it this past week. I keep reminding myself that it’s not a sprint, but a marathon. Thank you for believing in me and reading along. I am so thankful for your cheers!

Stay thirsty, my friends.

Blessings,
Emily

cancer sucks.

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My heart is heavy today and I need to get this out.

For those of you who don’t already know, my Mama has cancer. She was diagnosed while I was pregnant with Grace, and it was such a devastating blow to my soul. In the midst of celebrating the new life in my belly, we were forced to look upon the ugly face of cancer.

Mama has been battling this evil disease for longer than my Grace has been in this world, and it’s still here, just as awful as ever.

Last week, Mama was so weak that we almost lost her. She was in the hospital for a few days, and they were able to breathe life back into her. But the cancer is still here.

This past weekend, David, Grace, and myself went to visit her. It’s not a short drive, and having a toddler who hates being stuck in the car seat makes it less than fun, but we made it happen.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Mama in such good spirits, all things considered. But she is SO frail. I have never seen her so small, and it scares me.

Y’all, I am not ready to lose my Mama. I am not prepared to be parentless.

I have very vivid memories of Mama making healthy eating choices, and walking with vigor on our farm for exercise after work. She has NO cancer in her family. There really is no reason for her to have this awful, terrible disease, except for plain old “bad luck”. That’s what the doctors told her when she was diagnosed; it’s either genetic or just bad luck (especially for someone who is so healthy otherwise).

Mama’s diagnosis is yet another motivator for me and this journey I’m on. If it can happen to Mama, it can truly happen to anyone. And the last thing I’m going to do is give this wretched disease a reason to latch onto me!

My time with Mama this weekend was precious, and I’m going to make a habit of going to visit her much more often. I’m still hoping and praying for a miracle, but every moment Grace and I have with her is a blessing.

And in the meantime, I’m going to keep working on a healthier me, so I can be here for Grace as long as possible. I started using MyFitnessPal to track my food intake again, and I’m making healthier choices every day. I am thankful for this chance to turn things around, and I’m not going to waste it.

If you or someone you know is struggling with cancer tonight, please know that I am praying for you.

Blessings,
Emily

time is precious

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Time. It’s the one thing that once spent, can never be retrieved, replaced, or refunded. It’s the one thing I’m not willing to compromise on when it comes to my little one. Yes, I’ve heard all the things about it… I know it’s important for me to take time for myself, to be renewed, to be a wife to my husband, to be a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. And I completely agree with that notion.

But “mom guilt” is a real thing.

As I sat there alone at my office desk, away from Grace, contemplating when I might have the time to get a workout in my day so I could start down the long road back to my healthy self… the one thing I could not fathom was taking more time away from my daughter than what we already lose while I’m at work.

Don’t get me wrong; working full-time has its benefits. I mean, I get to go to the bathroom pretty much whenever I want, and not have a 2.75 ft tall spectator, who has to see everything I do. It’s also pretty nice to enjoy regular adult conversation – something that doesn’t involve the phrase “Fancy Nancy” or “Baby Shark”. (And all the Mamas said Amen!)

But by the end of every day, I am desperately craving my baby’s snuggles and cannot imagine going to the gym or doing anything other than making a beeline home to my favorite girl. Even when I do go straight home from work, I only get about two hours of quality time with Grace before her bedtime. Just TWO hours a day, to try to soak up all of the things I missed all day long – it is not nearly enough. Not by a long shot. And in all honesty, by the end of my work day, I have zero energy and tolerance for a sweat session. So that means there will be no workouts after work.

Some bright-eyed and bushy-tailed folks might say, “What about first thing in the morning? You could get up early and get a workout in while getting some Mama-alone time too!” These people have clearly never met me. First of all, I have never in my life been a morning person. (I firmly believe this to be a genetic thing, because my daddy and his mama were exactly the same way.) So the odds of me magically becoming a Richard Simmons in my 30s is what I like to call “slim-to-none”. Secondly, I have a lazy (hypo) thyroid. (This is not some lame excuse; it has been diagnosed.) I’ve had this struggle for about 10 years now. It takes me a full hour to become lucid in the morning, and that’s after popping a thyroid pill, waiting 30 minutes, and then chugging a cup of high octane coffee. Lastly, I have an 18-month old. Not every night is a sleep-fest. Some nights are a “I’m-going-to-die-before-I-get-to-sleep-fest.” Is it always Grace’s fault? Heck no! In fact, most of the time it is actually the inability to shut my brain off, tell the stress to take a hike, and ignore all of the mom-guilt and anxiety that kicks in right at bedtime, just like clockwork. Sigh. So no, Becky, I will not be getting up at 5am to start my day with Sweatin’ to the Oldies. In the perfect words of Michelle Tanner, “How rude!”

So at this point I’m still sitting in my office, wondering what in tarnation I’m going to do. And then it hit me, like a bear growl right in my stomach – I have a lunch hour! I get one glorious lunch hour, 5 days a week, in which I can do whatever floats my boat. BINGO!

I started thinking about what I could (and would) feasibly do during my lunch hour to get some real exercise in my day. Walking is super easy, and a definite given. But that’s something I can (and usually) do throughout the day anyway, in small intervals. I still wanted to find something deliberate and focused that I could do for the majority of my lunch hour.

After a lot of hemming and hawing, I decided to try a local pilates class. With my history of back issues, and being completely out of shape from having a baby, I thought it would be a good idea to start (gently) rebuilding my core and back strength. I am happy to report that so far, I’m really enjoying it. I am sore, but in a good way; I am still able to walk! 🙂

Once this weather is consistently warmer, and the days are longer, Grace and I will definitely be adding in some stroller walks before dark as well! My girl loves it. And I sure do love her.

Mama friends, what are some things you like to do for exercise? I’m open to suggestions!

Blessings,
Emily

Grace, the beginning.

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Many moons before my daughter Grace, I was an avid runner and health nut. My obsession with fitness began in 2012, the year my daddy passed away. At that time, I needed something to occupy my mind, and keep me from thinking about all the things I wish I had said before he left this world. So I focused on eating better, drinking protein shakes, and (heaven help), bootcamp workouts, of all things. I tracked my food using the MyFitnessPal app, weighed myself once a week, and literally worked my grits off. As it turns out, losing weight ain’t so easy when you have hypothyroidism AND you’re over 30. But I was desperate and determined.

For two solid years, all I thought about every day was how to be more fit. I was completely consumed. And by 2014, I had started down a dangerous path. I had replaced bootcamp with interval running, because I discovered that I could lose more weight at a faster rate that way. Of course, running on its own is certainly not a bad thing; however, when paired with consuming 1000 calories a day at most, it can become a problem – especially since I am 5’9″, and genetically, I was never meant to be the stick figure I was trying so hard to be. My obsession with being “healthier” had turned into an obsession with being “small” instead, even if it meant I had to starve myself and run on fumes.

The smaller I got, the more confident I felt. That confidence took me places I never thought I’d go, like Texas, for example. In late 2014, I met my now husband at a health-related conference in Texas. (Ironically, I had just gotten my heart broken by someone I never should have trusted, and was in no shape to meet anyone decent.) But this man, let me tell you… he chased me down. It didn’t matter that I lived halfway across the country, he was determined to prove himself and win me over. After many, MANY hours of video calls, texts, and uprooting his entire world to be with me, he showed me that true love DOES actually exist, and that I am worthy of such love. (Let this right here be a lesson to all the ladies out there who are still hoping and praying – He is listening to you, girlfriend!)

By 2015, David and I were married in wedded bliss. I was finally happy in love, and I had stopped caring so much about being “small”. Unfortunately though, I married a man who can eat ANYTHING he darn well pleases, and still maintain 6-pack abs. The nerve! So y’all can only imagine what happened, right? He’s cooking up all this Texan goodness, and I’m eating it up like I haven’t eaten in two years… because I hadn’t. For two years I survived on chicken/blueberry/spinach salads, protein shakes, and eggs. So when boo-boo took over the kitchen and started cooking like Bobby Flay, every other day was taco night, and before long I had packed on more than a few “love pounds”.

Fast forward to 2016 – a year of lemons. I miscarried our first child, injured my back and had to have surgery, fought a couple of brutal infections which totally wrecked my gut-health, and just landed flat on my A-double-S. Some days I could barely move, let alone focus on being healthier. But one good thing did come out of that year – one beautiful, perfect, and timely blessing. I became pregnant with our second baby, a little girl whose name had already been spoken to me, even before she existed in my womb. Our daughter Grace.

Suddenly, every struggle of that awful year was washed away. I had a reason for getting up every day and smiling all day long. I absolutely loved the feeling that I was carrying the whole world in my belly… until of course about the 8th month. By that time, I felt like a beached whale and couldn’t sleep worth a dern. It was in the middle of the blazing HOT Carolina summer, and I got winded just getting up to get a glass of water. Sigh.

By the time I was full-term in July, my feet were so swollen that it hurt to stand, let alone walk. (Which doesn’t bode too well for a full-time working mama.) But, somehow I survived. And then, one sweltering July day in 2017, after a LOT of prayers, sweat, moments of doubt, and many tears, I became a mother to the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. She was perfect and amazing; I could NOT believe how incredibly blessed I was to be her mama.

After the “glow” had worn off, I realized that getting back to a healthy version of myself was going to be an extremely long road. With everything I had been through over the last two years, my body didn’t even remotely resemble the person I was a few years ago. And as the days and nights flew by, maternity leave ended, and before I knew it I was back at work wondering where the heck I was, who I was, and what was this nightmare I seemed to be stuck in. All I wanted to do was to be at home taking care of my baby, and instead I was in an office trying to act like I knew how to do things I hadn’t done in 3 months.

I blinked, and now 18 months have passed since my Grace was born. EIGHTEEN MONTHS. And guess what? I’m still here, stuck in this post-trauma-plus-baby body that I still don’t recognize. I drag myself through every day with the same routine, eating whatever is quick and easy, because my days are full of work, stress, and a baby who is quickly becoming a full-fledged toddler.

Well, I’ve decided that it’s time for a change. I have more than enough reasons in my life to want to be healthy; most of all, I want to be here for my little girl. Not just to “watch” her grow up, but to be a part of it. I want to be able to run around and chase her, and not get tired after just a few minutes of playtime. I want to not be embarrassed when picturing myself in a bathing suit; I live in a coastal town, for goodness’ sake! I need to be able to go to the beach and enjoy my time with loved ones without feeling so self-conscious and ridiculous. Do I need to be perfect? No! But I DO need to be able to enjoy this life I have been blessed with, and not cut it short by making poor choices.

So here I am, baring my soul to the interwebs. I’m making my public declaration right here and now to start down a healthier path, and to document as I go. I need the accountability of others who are (hopefully) reading along and taking this journey with me. I’ll be sharing my victories, my struggles, healthy recipes and good tidbits, and anything else I can find to help me do this.

I want to be a healthy mama for Grace.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope you’ll stick around for more.
Blessings,
Emily